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Surviving Valentine's Day

Tis the season of love. Specifically romantic love. While people might assume that single people struggle with Valentines Day, the reality is that this day is also often difficult for people in relationships.


Because Valentines Day can be when one is forced to confront the fact that they are in an unhappy or unhealthy relationship. Watching people’s social media feeds fill up with displays of affection that you might be craving but not receiving in your own relationship, is bound to be upsetting.


If your partner fails to celebrate or altogether forgets about Valentines Day, while you were hoping for a grand gesture to reignite the passion in your relationship, you might question the future of your relationship.


Regardless of whether you are single or in a relationship, if you expect that Valentines Day might be difficult for you, here are some strategies to manage any challenges the day might bring.


  • Manage your expectations: if your partner has been distant or there is conflict in your relationship, don’t expect a grand gesture in your relationship to resolve all of your problems

  • Celebrate yourself: the day of love isn’t exclusive to intimate relationships. Take the opportunity to indulge yourself. Buy yourself flowers or chocolate. Treat yourself to something you have been wanting but have been reluctant to indulge in. Get a massage or a mani pedi. Being indulged will feel just as good if you do it for yourself.

  • Have a plan: think about what the most difficult part of the day will be and how you will manage it. Dreading all the expressions of love on social media? Try staying off it for the day. Worried about conflict with your spouse around unmet expectations? Consider instead in engaging in solo activities that you enjoy.

  • Keep perspective: Remind yourself that Valentines Day is just one day. It’s okay to not enjoy it and treat it like any other day on the calendar.

Regardless of what your plans look like for Valentines Day, remember that the most important relationship is the one you have with yourself. Love starts with you!




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